Forgiveness

Forgiveness


What is forgiveness? It is choosing to acquit the other person who has done wrong or hurt us. We can choose to brood and carry the matter as a result of something someone has done or we can choose to forgive the person.
“If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses,” Matthew 6:14-15.
Unforgiveness imprisons us. When we don’t forgive others, it ties us to them. As a result of our inability to forgive tortures us by making us miserable, sick in our minds, bodies and in emotions. When we have hatred, anger, or bitterness towards someone, we have a hard time facing God. There is nothing that hinders intimate relationship with God more than not being able to forgive.
We have to learn to forgive on a daily basis. Not only do we have to forgive others for offenses against us, we have to forgive ourselves for not being perfect. We also have to forgive God when we blame Him for things that happen or don’t happen.
“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4: 32.
Forgiveness is healing. Failing to forgive clearly damages us emotionally and it hampers our own growth, progress and happiness. The process of forgiveness usually means changing a relationship establishing new expectations and boundaries. Forgiveness is discovering what hurt us – exactly how and why we were hurt – healing those hurts the best we can and growing to be a better person. Forgiveness is something we do because we want to and need to, not because we are told we must.
Sometimes it is easy to forgive but difficult to forget. Time heals all hurts and grievances. At times it is our pride and our ego that prevents us from forgiving others or to say ‘I am sorry, please forgive me’. When you forgive, there is this inner peace within you. To forgive and forget someone’s faults is to wipe the slate clean, graciously cancelling a debt.
A few years ago during the Alpha4 weekend, we were in church. As I sat down in reflection, I was angry at some friends who hurt me. I asked God to forgive me and also to forgive those who hurt me. Amazingly the moment I said that, I felt much lighter, everything was lifted from me. I felt peaceful. Just recently, my good friend and I, forgave each other for the past hurts and insensitive remarks made and we told each other that the past is forgiven and we live for the present.
Forgiveness is ultimately an act of the will. It is a choice to obey God and let it go. This is an inward choice that is a declaration given, a promise spoken: “I forgive you.” When I speak these words, I am saying that the issue between us is over and buried. I am saying that I will not rehearse it, review it or renew it. When it comes to my mind, I will take it to the Lord and to the foot of the cross, not to you.
God’s forgiveness always comes with another chance. Confess your sin and experience His forgiveness, healing and restoration (1 John 1:9)
Next time if someone hurts you, say this prayer: “Lord flood my heart with compassion and purge away my unforgiving spirit. Help me to live peaceably with all men.” (Romans 12:18)